There’s something about pen-drawing and markering that helps me get centered. I need a lot of quiet, contemplative time to feel whole and strong and ready to contribute good things to the world. I had a very difficult period of time a while back, a beautiful time, where I was extracting myself from a narcissistically-abusive relationship. I had to learn what it meant to love others and hold healthy boundaries at the same time, to let go of someone I loved very dearly….force them out actually, and to ground myself despite that abyss of sadness that occurs when you let go. I had to learn how to feel connected to truth, despite the heartbreaking and de-stabilizing experience of someone I loved very much pathologically lying, exploiting, raging, using, manipulating, projecting etc.
I used my contemplative drawing time to commune with the Great Spirit…really let that love in…really trust that that secret space of requiring a healthy, sustainable relationship dynamic with people is a great act of love, despite the usual upheaval it causes initially. It means I had to be willing to undergo a soul-loss, for the sake of myself and another. It was very isolating. But it ushered me into a mindset that was more mature and stable. My ability to Love was deepened, and I was able to forgive without grasping. I’m really grateful for that. It cracked my heart open.
One of the most profound lessons I learned was grounding myself in my life’s work…my contribution to humanity…my ability to create some beauty in the world. Relying on that put me back in power…because all of those things are entirely within me. No one can take them from me, no matter what is done, what is said, or what is lost. I can continuously choose beauty, choose truth, and choose love. Even if I totally mess up, I can go back and choose it. I can choose to self-reflect, and submit myself to the great Goodness despite what anyone else around me chooses to do. And this is basis of empowerment. Powering over someone else– a method deeply ingrained in every culture — as a way to feel a fleeting sense of empowerment, just loses it’s allure when replaced with a source of empowerment that lives within one’s connection to Great Spirit and is divorced from zero-sum games of power. This concept was something I knew intellectually already, but to really DO it, was an energetic shift felt at a visceral level.
I’m sure I’ll be adding to this gallery…I’m still learning and willing to do the difficult work within myself. I feel I still have far to go.
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Carl Jung and the Purpose of Meditative / Contemplative Drawing
Carl Jung used daily mandalas as a way to ‘return to the self,’ to ‘find wholeness,’ to “heal oneself.” Drawing was a way for him to self-reflect on the inner workings of subconscious. It was a way to get quiet and center.
In this series of drawings, I’m using butterflies rather than mandalas. I’m drawn to this symbol of transformation and freedom — two things I have always valued and desired. These butterflies were drawn — and cataloged in a way — a transformative experience I had concerning my understanding of boundaries and unconditional love that stemmed partially from dealing with partners’ narcissism and sociopathy, and partially as the culmination of years of yoga and brahmavihara practice. The meditative/contemplative drawing times helped me “sit with” revelations — revelations that I hope to explain in later posts.
Sahasrara Butterfly 1 (prints)
Sahasrara Butterfly 2 (prints)
Ajna Butterfly 1
Vishudda Butterfly 1
Vishudda Butterfly 2
Vishudda Butterfly 3 (prints)
Vishudda Butterfly 4
Vishudda Butterfly 5
Vishudda Butterfly 6
Vishudda Butterfly 7
Manipura Butterfly 1
Manipura Butterfly 2
Manipura Butterfly 3
Luna Moth 1
Luna Moth 2
Luna Moth 3
India Butterfly (prints)
Color Block Butterfly
Compassion, boundaries, intuition, truth, freedom
Cracking the Heart Open
Anahata Vishudda Butterfly 1 (prints)
Anahata Butterfly 1
Anahata Butterfly 2
Anahata Butterfly 3
Svadhisthana Manipura Butterfly 1 (prints)
Manipura Butterfly 1 (prints)
Manipura Butterfly 2
Manipura Butterfly 3
Svadhisthana Butterfly 2
Svadhisthana Butterfly 3
Svadhisthana Manipura Butterfly 1
The Heart is the Way (prints)
Compassion, Boundaries, Intuition, Truth, Freedom